


The Misadventures of Ziktent (or, The Cat and the Brother)

by NorahPines



Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: #GravityFalls1000YearsLater
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-01
Updated: 2017-07-01
Packaged: 2018-11-22 03:10:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11371362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NorahPines/pseuds/NorahPines
Summary: Ziktent is a happy pink kitten living in the year 3011. When she makes her first friend, it changes her life forever.





	The Misadventures of Ziktent (or, The Cat and the Brother)

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, but also right here… There was a tiny, pink floofball of a kitten who was very fat, and almost looked like a pig. This kitten’s name was Ziktent. Ziktent lived in the year 3011 with her wonderful owners, Mavis and Dimwit in the tiny town of Sllaf Falls. The two were fraternal twins, a boy and a girl, the first to be born in their line of descent in 1,000 years. Of course, Dimwit’s actual name wasn’t really Dimwit, but no one really knew what it was anymore.  
Now, if there is one thing that you should know about Dimwit, it’s that he really liked hats. In fact, there hadn’t been a day of his life where he hadn’t been wearing a hat for 24 hours straight since he was 3. But the weird thing was, he only wore one hat over his red hair, all the time. It was blue and white, and he had won it as a prize from a game at a tourist trap he visited one time. He even had 10 backup hats in his closet in case he somehow got stuck to a UFO and the wind blew his hat off his head or something. (In this year, UFOs come and go all the time.)  
But enough about Dimwit. Ziktent’s favorite owner was secretly Mavis, who had brown hair, although neither owner knew the talking kitten’s secret. One time, Mavis knitted Ziktent a sweater that had a picture of Mavis’ face on it, while Mavis had a sweater with Ziktent on it. While Dimwit really liked hats, Mavis really liked sweaters. Sometimes she knitted them herself, like she had done with the matching sweaters.  
Today was June 31, and it was 8:00 p.m., but since it was summer, the sun was still up. Mavis was knitting multiple sweaters together into a parachute so she could go skydiving through the summer sky like she had always wanted to do in a couple of days. She was also wearing a green sweater with a slice of watermelon on it. Ziktent was playing with a yellow yarn ball while repeatedly saying, “Yarn ball! Yarn ball! Hahahaha!” Dimwit was eating a Popsicle. It was one of those Popsicles with a riddle on it, but you don’t see the answer until you finish the Popsicle, or the end falls off and lands on the floor. “OK, everyone,” Dimwit said. “What is a ghost’s favorite flavor of ice cream?” “Obviously Boo-berry,” Mavis replied. “Eh, I think it’s Cookies and Scream,” Dimwit replied. “I think it’s banana!” Ziktent put in as she practically murdered her yarn ball.  
Unfortunately for Dimwit and fortunately for Ziktent, the end fell off right at that moment. “Huh,” Dimwit said as Ziktent ate the fallen end of the Popsicle. “There’s no answer!” “What? That’s got to be a bad omen!” Mavis exclaimed. “Any moment now, the doorbell is going to ring or something!”  
Just then, the doorbell rang to the tune of the first line of a popular song called “A Potato Flew Around my Room”. “See what I mean?!?!” Mavis shouted. "Oh, that must be for me,” Ziktent said unexpectedly. “Huh?” Mavis and Dimwit exclaimed at the same time. “Oh, yeah!” Ziktent replied. “I almost forgot to tell you I made a new friend yesterday! His name is George, and he’s a goat. If he had hair on his head, it would be red like yours, Dimwit! Speaking of you, Dimwit, can you open the door for me? He doesn’t like to be kept waiting.” “Uh, sure, Ziktent,” Dimwit said, a bit warily. He opened the door cautiously, peeking out to see if it really was a goat.  
“HI!” the goat shouted as soon as it saw that the door was open just a crack. “I’m George, Ziktent’s new best friend! You might know my owners, Ana and Derf Gram!” “Oh yeah, I know Ana! She’s, like, my best friend!” Mavis happily burst out, remembering the funny, wacky, tall, deep-voiced girl who lived in the perfectly circular, perfectly purple farmhouse a few miles away with her brother, Derf. She opened the door wider so that Ziktent could exit the house.  
“Are you sure that this is a good idea to let a kitten be friends with a goat? Remember all the other friends she had?” Dimwit whispered to Mavis, and they both began to remember all the other friends Ziktent had had over the years, like a picture in a book called “Spinky Sulks”; a clod of dirt, stained yellow from years of pollution; and, most recently, the man on the back of the dollar bill. Or at least, she said it was a man. In reality, it was the Eye of Providence, but she would treat it like it was a really creepy dude who was strangely funny and liked forks, stairs, cans of soda, eyes, puppets, 10-year-olds with white hair, and most of all, water towers.  
He also apparently had a strange attraction to Mavis, though no one knew why, not even Ziktent. So now that she had a best friend who was a goat named George, he really wasn’t that weird compared to her other friends.  
“OK, bye now!” Ziktent called as she walked away from the house. “Where are you going?” Dimwit shouted back. Ziktent just replied, “On an adventure!” Little did Ziktent know that everyone has a just a bit of future vision in them.  
As Ziktent and George walked away from the disappearing house and into the woods, George asked, “Do you have any other friends?” “Yes, I actually do, George. How did you know?” “Well… you could just say that I’ve met some of the people you call friends.” “Really?” Ziktent said with wonder. Then she thought about it a bit more and said, “Wait… how do you know who my friends are?” George went quiet for a few moments, then said, “I’m not who I look like. Hey, look! A mailbox from the 21st century! And it’s purple, my favorite color!”  
Back at the house, Mavis and Dimwit were playing a game of chess. “Boom! I win again,” Dimwit triumphantly said. “Hey, why do you always win?” Mavis said, a bit suspiciously. “I don’t know. I’m just good at it,” was the reply she got. “Do you think that Ziktent is all right? There’s something funny about that goat...” “Oh, of course she is,” Mavis replied. “If they had gotten in trouble, Ziktent would have called me on her Paw Pad. Besides, that goat is perfectly normal!” (A Paw Pad is like a tablet, but for animals.) “But what if she forgot to charge her Paw Pad?” Dimwit asked worriedly.   
“You say ‘what if’ too much!” Mavis exclaimed. “What if Columbus kept saying ‘what if’? He would have come up with all sorts of questions like ‘What if I fall overboard?’ ‘What if the boat springs a leak?’ ‘What if I run into pirates?’ What if, what if, what if! He might not have even come and discovered America in the first place!” “Mavis…” Dimwit said. “Leif Erikson discovered America.” “Yeah, but it was Columbus who made America known to the public!” Mavis argued back. “Oh, fine,” Dimwit said. “But just remember that Leif Erikson was born 500 years before Columbus.” Mavis groaned.  
Meanwhile, George and Ziktent were examining the mailbox they had found. There was moss on it, and it looked a bit different from their normal, hovering mailboxes, but other than that, it was perfectly normal. “Hey, what should we do with this?” Ziktent asked. “Well, duh,” said George. “We should mail whoever this really old mailbox belongs to a letter. Then we can be friends with them, too!”  
“Oh, yeah! I guess that that does make sense. Well, what should we write?” “We should ask them where the button that makes time fast-forward 6 months is,” replied George. “If they tell us, we’ll be able to make time fast-forward to New Year’s!” “Oh, yeah! George, you have the best ideas!” Ziktent exclaimed. To this, George said, “Just wait until you meet… oh, wait… well, you can truly meet him after we press the button. Now, where’s some paper and a pencil?” “Well, I always keep some paper and a pen in my IB,” Ziktent said thoughtfully.  
“What’s an IB?” “An invisible backpack.” “You have one of those? Wow!” George practically shouted. “Yeah, they only came out yesterday,” Ziktent boasted. “I had to practically beg Mavis to buy one for me! They’re, like 10 dollars!” (That’s a lot of money.) “I begged someone once,” George said bitterly. “They didn’t listen to me one bit. Now I’m stuck in this body forever.” “Stuck in what body forever?” Ziktent said curiously. “You’ll find out eventually,” George replied quite mysteriously. “We have to press the button first. He’s a tiny bit better around New Year’s.” “OK, but I won’t wait forever. So let’s write this letter!” “OK. How do you open your invisible backpack, anyway?” “Well, you kind of just go like this-” Ziktent jumped into the air and performed a complete barrel roll- “and then you go like this-” Ziktent jumped into the air again and landed on all fours- “and then you say, ‘Open visibly!’ in a loud voice like I just did, and now it’s open and you can see it. But it’ll only work for me because it can sense whether it’s my voice and it’s on my back.”  
“Oh, OK. I understand now. That’s not too hard- except for the part with the barrel roll,” George said. “But right now, let’s focus on writing that letter. How are we supposed to write a letter, anyway? I don’t have fingers, and you don’t have thumbs.” “Oh, I have this special pen, and you place it on the piece of paper, and you speak, and it writes for you. So we just have to put it on the paper and talk, and it’ll work.” Now came the real struggle- getting the backpack off of Ziktent’s back. Ziktent wriggled, George pushed with his horns, and in the end, the tiny kitten was free. They then found the pen and the piece of paper, Ziktent batted the pen onto the piece of paper, and they both wrote the letter, changing it here and there, until eventually it read:  
“Dear whoever owns this mailbox, do you know where the button that makes time fast-forward 6 months is? We want it to be New Year’s Eve.  
Sincerely, Ziktent the kitten and George the goat."  
They opened the mailbox to put the letter into it, but there was already a piece of paper there. Ziktent jumped up and snagged it with her claws. Once they had unfolded the piece of paper, they were amazed by what they saw. The piece of paper said, “Hello Ziktent and George”.  
“Oh, I’ve heard of this mailbox!” Ziktent said, remembering the YouTube video of how Mavis and Dimwit’s 35-times-great-grandfather had found the mailbox one day while walking in the woods. After it was found, then every now and then, some clod would come along and accidentally make it explode. Unfortunately, there was a part of the video that she couldn’t quite remember, but it probably didn’t matter. “Now, last time it was found,” Ziktent told George, “Mavis and Dimwit’s 35-times-great-grandfather’s sister went and put a package in it, and the mailbox imploded, then exploded, and then it took 100 years for its molecules to reform. So pretty much, we can ask this mailbox anything, but we can’t put any boxes or anything like that in it.” “Oh, OK,” said George. “So we can put this letter in the mail box, but we can’t put anything besides paper in it? And we better hurry, because according to this watch over here, it’s already 11.” “Yeah, pretty much,” Ziktent replied. “So let’s mail this letter!” To get up to the mailbox, Ziktent speared the letter with one of her claws, George stood underneath the mailbox, and Ziktent jumped onto George’s back and retracted her claw so the letter fell onto the bottom of the mailbox. Then Ziktent batted the mailbox closed.  
It promptly began to shake, and when it stopped shaking, the red flag went up, which they took to mean that they had an answer. Ziktent then batted the mailbox open, but there was no letter. There was only a green button marked, “Make time fast forward by 6 months”. Ziktent gasped, and George, who couldn’t see what was in the mailbox, called, “What does the letter say?” “There is no letter,” Ziktent replied. “Well, why isn’t there anything in the mailbox? You said there would be a letter!” George cried angrily.   
“Well, there is something in the mailbox, but it’s not a letter.”  
George gasped. “The button?”  
“Right in one.”  
“Well, press it!” George cried out. “Why wouldn’t you?”  
“Well…” Ziktent said slowly. George sighed. “Are you what-iffing?” he asked. “Yeah,” the kitten said, sounding a bit ashamed. “I was just thinking, ‘what if something really bad happened because we pressed the button?’ and I didn’t want to press it as much.” George sighed again. “Nothing bad’s going to happen, Ziktent,” he said consolingly. “And besides, don’t you want it to be New Year’s Eve?" “Yes, I suppose that I do,” said Ziktent. “Hey, since when do I say suppose? Oh well, I guess that I’d better press the button before I start what-iffing again.” And with that, she pressed the button with all her might. “Beep!”  
As soon as she pressed it, a few things changed greatly. For one, there was snow now, and Ziktent and George were very cold very suddenly. For another, there was a giant, cranky-looking baby in the sky now who was lazering stuff like, “Bazang! Bazang!”. “Hey, why is there a giant baby in the sky now?” Ziktent asked.  
“Oh, darn it! I forgot that it’s been 1000 years by now!” George said, looking very grumpy at himself. “And I’m still stuck like this. If only he were here… by the way, do you know why he isn’t? Oh, wait, you still don’t know who I’m talking about. Well, I guess that I should tell you who I’m talking about before we get lazered.” “About time!” Ziktent thought angrily. But what she said out loud was, “Well, who have you been talking about this whole time?”  
George sighed yet again. “Before I tell you, you need to know how important this knowledge is. It’s so important that for the last 1000 years, I haven’t told anyone, not even the Grams or any of my previous owners. And I have had a lot of owners since I’m that old. You see, I still look the same because once I appeared to be about 3 years old, my appearance stopped changing. It’s the one good thing about my curse.  
“But anyway, the one who put the curse on me is the one who I’ve been talking about this whole time. He is the exact opposite of me, and we’re pretty much each other’s arch nemeses. And believe it or not, you’ve already met him, but you were his friend. He is… my brother.”  
“You have a brother?!?!” Ziktent yelled at the top of her lungs. Then, in a normal voice, she said, “This is a very weird day that I’ve had. And what time is it now?” George glanced down at the watch beside him and said, “It’s 11:59 and 15 seconds, but that hardly matters. What matters now is reversing time so that we can warn people about what’s going to happen. Is there, by any chance, a button that says ‘Reverse time by 6 months’?” “Actually, there is,” Ziktent said. “It’s this red one right here,” she said, knocking the button onto the ground. “This one right next to the other red one that says, ‘Explode the world?’” George inquired. “Yeah, that one,” Ziktent replied. You ready?” “Nope.” Ziktent sighed, shook her head, and smiled as the watch ticked over the 12. It was 3012. “OK, press the red button.” “Beep!” “NOT THAT BUTTON, YOU CLOD!” And then the world exploded and everyone was dead.


End file.
